THE SEPARATION FOR INCLUSION (2)

“...I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.” Romans 9:2–3

THE BURDEN OF A BITTER HEART

Some years ago, I left my hometown in deep shame. I had been falsely accused of stealing my stepsister’s money. As far as I knew, I was the only person who believed in my innocence. Even a local diviner, who was consulted by the family, pointed a finger at me as the guilty party. 

For three agonizing days, I slept outside on the cold ground. No one cared, and no one reached out to comfort or defend me. It was a deeply traumatic season of isolation and rejection. Eventually, I fled my hometown to live with my brother in another state. But I did not travel alone; I carried a heavy baggage of bitterness. I made a silent, burning promise to myself: I WILL AVENGE MYSELF AGAINST EVERYONE WHO FALSELY ACCUSED ME--ESPECIALLY MY OWN FAMILY.

I nurtured this vengeful heart for years, even as I grew in faith, went to seminary, and became a preacher and teacher of the Word of God. On the pulpit, I spoke of grace, but in my heart, I still demanded justice. I saw no reason why those who had willfully broken my spirit should not reap the bitter seeds they had sown. 

The first target of my resentment was to be my own mother. Years later, she came to visit my parish in Lagos. She was filled with joy and pride, beholding the beautiful church where her son was ministering. But instead of welcoming her with open arms, I chose that moment to crush her joy. I coldly reminded her of the false accusation from years ago and unleashed the venom I had stored up for so long.

She was stunned. She could not believe that I had nursed this grievance for so many years. Rather than defending herself or making excuses, she did something that shattered my pride: she fell to her knees and begged for my forgiveness.

In that sobering moment, the mirror of truth was held up to my face. I realized that I was the guilty one. How could a man who had been forgiven so much by the Creator, and honored with a calling to serve in His vineyard, still harbor such toxic hatred? I fell to my knees, wept, and repented before God, pleading for the mercy I had so long denied others.

-THE LOSS OF SHEPHERD'S HEART

This personal failure reflects a wider, devastating reality in our world today. Too often, we treat those who oppose us as targets to be destroyed rather than souls to be won. When we look at those who hurt us and see only enemies to be defeated—rather than people who are bruised, hurting, and wandering like "sheep without a shepherd" (Matthew 9:36)—we reveal a tragic truth: we have lost the burden of love.

For years, I prayed and preached for the salvation of strangers, yet I secretly wished for the destruction of my own family members whom I had labeled as enemies. I wanted God to act as my personal avenger, and where He delayed, I was more than willing to step in and "help" Him. In doing so, I forgot that true spiritual maturity does not seek the destruction of the offender, but their redemption.

THE EXAMPLE OF ABRAHAM AND LOT

We see a profound picture of selfless love and reconciliation in the relationship between Abraham and his nephew, Lot, in Genesis 13 and 14. 

Abraham had taken Lot with him when God called him out of his homeland. Abraham mentored Lot, protected him, and watched him grow from a dependent youth into a wealthy man.

“Lot also... had sheep, goats, and cattle, as well as his own family and servants. And so there was not enough pasture land for the two of them to stay together, because they had too many animals.” Genesis 13:5–6

As their wealth multiplied, conflict arose: “So quarrels broke out between the men who took care of Abram’s animals and those who took care of Lot’s animals” (Genesis 13:7). This strife was unnecessary. It likely began because the herdsmen did not understand that Abraham and Lot were of the same blood, or perhaps because Lot’s success had bred a quiet desire for independence from his benefactor.

Abraham, as the elder and the one to whom God’s promise was directly given, had every right to claim the best land and dictate the terms of their separation. Instead, he stepped up to solve the conflict with astonishing humility: “Then Abram said to Lot, ‘We are relatives, and your men and my men shouldn’t be quarreling. So let’s separate. Choose any part of the land you want. You go one way, and I’ll go the other.’"Genesis 13:8–9 

Abraham gladly gave Lot the freedom he desired, but more than that, he gave Lot the privilege of choosing first. 

“Lot looked around and saw that the whole Jordan Valley, all the way to Zoar, had plenty of water, like the Garden of the Lord... So Lot chose the whole Jordan Valley for himself and moved away toward the east.” Genesis 13:10–11

Lot chose the lush, green, fertile plains, leaving his uncle with the dry, rocky, undeveloped terrain. It was an act of profound selfishness on Lot’s part, yet Abraham accepted it quietly, trusting his future to the care of God rather than physical soil.

Not long after, in Genesis 14, disaster struck. War came to the valley, and Lot, his family, and all his wealth were captured by invading armies. When this news reached Abraham, he did not gloat. He did not say, "He got what he deserved for taking the best land and abandoning me."

Instead, Abraham immediately mobilized three hundred and eighteen trained men from his own household, risked his life, pursued the enemy, and rescued Lot along with every single one of his possessions.

CHASING VENGEANCE OR SEEKING RECONCILIATION?

If you were in Abraham’s shoes, would you have risked your life to rescue the one who took advantage of your generosity? Would you pray for the deliverance of the person who bit the hand that fed them? Or would you quietly rejoice in their misfortune, calling it "divine judgment"?

We must ask ourselves how we so easily slide from a calling of grace into a culture of vengeance. Why do we focus so heavily on our wounds, using our scars as an excuse to inflict pain on others? 

The scriptures remind us that we are called to a high standard: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21

Yet, instead of bringing our offenders to the foot of the cross where mercy flows, we often wish to see them punished. Those of us entrusted with the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18) can easily become ministers of condemnation. We allow our personal pain to construct walls where God called us to build bridges.

We are told that "the meek shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5). Yet in today’s highly competitive and defensive world, meekness is often mocked as weakness. We find ourselves justifying hostility and aggression, wrapping them in spiritual language, and forgetting that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but spiritual (2 Corinthians 10:4).

A CALL TO REPENTANCE

It is time to return to the Savior and plead for His mercy. We have spent too long nursing our wounds, magnifying our offenses, and ignoring the ultimate sacrifice of the Cross. While Jesus hung in agony, His prayer was not for vengeance, but for the restoration of those who drove the nails: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"(Luke 23:34).

If we claim to follow Him, we must lay down our rights to get even. We must let go of the bitterness that corrupts our souls and prevents us from seeing others through the eyes of compassion. 

Let us quiet our hearts, examine our spirits, and surrender our grievances to the One who paid the ultimate price for us all.

I hear the Savior say,

“Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all,

All to Him I owe;

Sin had left a crimson stain,

He washed it white as snow.

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Peter Abdul-Razaq, OLAYINKA 

A Serving Missionary — Living Grace Christian Missions, Ilara

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